Friends

11/2/23

I need more fucking friends. Close friends, I have friends but what I need to talk to them about isnt what I CAN talk to them about. I want to fucking talk to them about how I saw something terrible on Omegle. I want to tell my close friends because I cant sleep at night anymore. It takes hours when it used to take minutes. I LOVE SLEEPING. but i cant and im losing my mind and my adhd be wilding so i cant work on my school anymore. And no, it isnt an option to go to a therapist because I have been in therapy multiple times but my parents end up always pulling me out after just a few weeks saying "i have not improved at all" even though one time i litterly told them "this therapist isnt working out, we litterly talk about anime the whole session". and my mom just responded "yea well u guys are supposed to get to know each other". we talked about anime for multiple sessions. I had one session a week and I think I was in for 8 weeks or sum. I went in again for another 8ish weeks. The only time my parents didnt take me out it worked. I was in therapy for 4 months roughly and i came back home basically a diffo person for the better. I havent been in therapy for like a year or two now? I have been doing fine but i just am in such a garbage mood recently, especially this week. I'll be fine soon enough-that how it works for me and prob other people-i think about things for a bit and then im fine. Life comes in waves of happiness and sadness- up and down and up and down. But my lows are usually quite low. I need more friends so that they can talk to me and feel heard and so that I can talk to them and feel known. I dont wanna be perceived as some little bitch thogu cus im not. I have a brain in my head and its not weird for me to feel emotions. I dont want to be told im goofy or sum shit like that.